WHAT NOW.

On Monday September 8th, the light of my life took her own.  She was 13. 

Ivy was loved so deeply by all those who were touched by her presence, and for good reason.  In her letter to me, she implored me to continue with my creative work, and while I want to be able to honour that - I am not sure that I can… at least not in any way I have previously.  

Firstly, a thank you. To everyone who has reached out and contributed already to supporting myself and my family.  

Secondly, a comment on donations.  Many people have already contributed financially to us directly - either for support while we cannot work, or to contribute toward Ivy’s ceremony - and for that we are grateful.  With that in mind, if you have already given, please do not feel the need to do so again - it is an extremely difficult time for all of us, and I am not seeking support in this from people who, like us, are already stretched so thin.

Monday broke my world.  It did not just break the lens I see it through, it tore away at the ground I stand on and the fabric of my understanding of life and our connections together while in it.  It broke any sense of reason, any sense of purpose, any reason to create anything anymore…

And then this little project wriggled its way back into my head, and now it won’t leave.

Personally, I have always struggled with crowd funding for personal uses, that’s just my feeling, and it’s been extremely hard for me to accept help as several people have consistently reached out to offer support in so many ways, and while I have struggled to make sense of life, and my place in it.

However “something” this week “guided” me to recall this small seed of hope and light in this incomprehensible void.   Once I remembered, I could not get it out - and it was only with that seed pushing against me that I felt able to have Shay and Yen reach out, at a moment of unimaginable despair, to try and push communal mourning into action, to unify a sense of shared purpose in this time, and something to give back and help others as we all know that it’s what Ivy would want.  

Last year, prior to Ivy and myself starting our photography duo which became so central in our daily lives and something we shared together so joyfully, I had been trying to start up a Youth-centric arts collective akin to a project that ran in Belgrave by the wonderful Tiffaney Bishop.  It didn’t gain the traction I had hoped, and so we started simply.. I took Ivy along to OzComicon at the MCEC just so we could spend the day taking photos together and I could show her a few things.  Many will know that this small, insignificant act was what birthed our partnership in Flavour Forge.  It took off, in a way we couldn’t have anticipated, and the collective project became another concept in the pile of ideas I have but have no space or time to grow.  

Only a few months ago, the idea resurfaced, this time with bigger and grander ambitions, rebranded as “The Forge Institute”, my intention was to carve out a space in the community and its surrounds to facilitate art workshops, creative practice, gaming nights, indie film evenings, galleries, and exhibitions.  It was the culmination of 15 years of diverse activity - Having run Limerence with CJ, birthing and curating the End of the Line Festival, holding jewellery workshops, and all manner of other chaotic projects that anyone who knows me well, knows I tend to do with far too much energy in far too little time.  It felt right.  It felt like where I could finally have a space that served not only my personal creative ambitions, but one where I could support as many people as I could in theirs too.

If I am to find purpose ever again in this life, If I am to feel like my feet on this earth hold enough weight to leave a mark, it isn’t and can’t be for me.  It can only be for Ivy… It can only be for that beautiful, darling girl who saw so much beauty in everyone else but could never in herself. 

My intention, and the only way I feel I can accept any form of financial donation at this time, is to seed the funds to create The Forge Institute.  There must be support, education, and mentorship that is accessible and relatable to our kids.  In a world so determined to break them, to make them doubt their authentic selves, there has to be something here that cradles them instead.  

For those who know me personally, you know that I will give every single ounce of myself I am able to propel this project into reality as soon as I am able.  

I want this to reach as far and wide as I can.  I want it to go to the art centres, the youth support networks, the philanthropists and professional artists, to other communities or organisations that can help make it a reality.  As such, I am also going to include my extremely rudimentary documents that I had created at the time of each project, both the CTA’s for Chroma Initiative, as well as the more formalised documents I was putting together for The Forge Institute - trying my best with very little to piece together a business plan to approach local communities and banks to ask for their advice.    I am sharing these in the spirit of transparency, and so that people with greater expertise than myself with these kinds of things can at least see where my thinking was, and perhaps can assist with refining those, or utilising those in some way to assist the project.  I am not sure how it will work yet, but I anticipate there will be an open platform people can join through the campaign to converse further on any subject of the project.  

My purpose on this plane in my creative and professional capacity is now to hold space for our youth, to help them channel their feelings and struggles of a very challenging world into something that helps them build themselves up, together, rather than building up walls to keep themselves alone. 

 Please, if you are able, help me make this real.